The driving. And the driving. ALL the driving and heavy work and my work, now a month. It is hard for him to be driven, and sometimes the edgy comments make me feel that saying " you are driving me to DRINK!!"
Ug. I best be drinking from the living water of which Jesus spoke, so my attitude remains kind and more reflecting Him, and not me.
Cuz, caregiver fatigue somedays makes me, without Christ overriding my thoughts, want to YELL. Or drop him off wherever we are when the comment that is not kind, slips out. Today it was leaving dau's driveway, after driving two and half hours, end of day when I am tired enough to collapse to begin with!!! honest!!! yesterday...... to his season ticket college basketball game, then to dau's for the night, and then to leave driveway to go to the season ticket college football game. Today is our surviving son's birthday, and all I needed was an extra three minutes to text him a happy birthday.... but I got roundly scolded.
( Ah, we got to the football thing on time. )
Get patted down before entering the stadium, ish. Stand in driving chilly wind, not my fave. Football, not my fave. Seats are near the 3rd largest HD scoreboard in the nation, with blaring speakers.... a hardship. Being on the campus our deceased son went to, is tough to start with for me, cuz I picked him up EVERY Friday afternoon,and returned him, to his dorm. Shoot, it is hard. My heart looks for him. Even tho my mind is rational and knows he's surely in glory.
I was VERY glad to leave that place before the halftime time. VERY.
Son and fiancee here, tis warm to my soul. Thank You Lord.