Thursday, 09 July 2009

• calendar date birthdate heart

    Some may say that a date is simply a number with things ascribed to it.  Is your birthday a non event to you?  Probably not..... most likely if your parents still are living, they send you a card.... or they might call.  Perhaps your family has estrangement floating around in it's midst, so yours goes unmentioned, and for that, my heart aches for you.  Your parents do remember it, mind you.  On that date, someone labored to bring you breathing into this world.   That changed their world, even if they gave you to the arms and hearts of adoptive parents to raise, even if they raised you, and could not break old chains to do so with tender devotion and joy.

    Today is the birthdate of our middle child.  He was the firstborn to my beloved hubby, my second marriage's first.  My first son. My only blue eyed child.  He was stretching towards 6'4" when he was killed eight years ago last Thursday's date.   He was nearly nineteen, and

    He touched lives.

    He went to Mexico with the church we were part of, and build small well crafted strong houses, to be homes to the suffering who lived in cardboard, and one family who he saw living in a scooped out hole in the ground, with a cardboard "roof" over them.

    He took time on his freshman and only year of college campus to converse, to converse, with homeless men.  Not merely "hello" mind you.   One guy told Brian that "you make me feel like I am a human", by his attentive genuine care.   Speaking words costs us nothing financially, only costs a bit of time, a bit of eye contact, and some heart. 

    He was loyal to his friends.  He had friends from basketball, friends from scholarly pursuits, friends from chumming around, friends who were male, friends who were female, and he deeply cared about each one of them.  We had these conversations when we went camping as a family...... I know his heart towards others.

    He gave the gift of life, when he could not survive the brain injury that robbed us of him.  He saved seven lives.... one wonderful man received both lungs.... and has breathed more fully oxygenated breaths than the average person off the street, his gift was so strong and healthy.    Those families remember our Brian as a life giver.  As a hero.

    I remember him as mine.  God's gift to my arms,and his daddy's.  My daughter's first little brother.  Big brother to our next son....

    I remember his sense of humor, and I miss it deeply, the missing causing an ache only God can heal.   I miss his laughter.  Heard an adult, laughing a bubbling joyfilled laugh,  at a 60th birthday party for a dear friend last night, and it rippled through those aching missing places, it was sweet music, but it was not his.  I miss his.    I remember his thoughfulness.  He was thoughtful towards his friends, and he was so thoughtful towards me.

    Today I weep, in the morning.  Then I put weeping aside as the thoughtfulness of two young women from the FCA huddle at Centennial ....... High School grads four years ago, now young women of faith and strong education at Christ centered universities....... reaches here, reaches me.  We will take time together, and my day will have their music in it.  The lyrics of experiences shared, a semester abroad..... friendships woven through time and care.  A blessing today that this heart will drink in, and not take for granted.   Thank you Lord.

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