Saturday, 31 October 2009

• then there

   is the fact that I find myself getting irritated.  like dumb little stuff. today it gets me. He broke something nice that I delighted in, that decorated this home that is not yet really feeling so very "home" to me.  He says he'll fix it, but experience says it will not even get attended to when he has two arms. makes me sad. it was such a fun idea, over the lower basement stairs area.... where you have to duck.  I had this welcome sign, a super nicely painted duck... with a rectangular "welcome" sign hanging below it. So, I hung it there, but on the back of the welcome, I painted the word "duck"....... get it?? Because you need to.  he knocked it off going down the stairs backwards?? or something while he's on narcotics for pain, and totally broke it's head off. That alone made me cry. Head injury death....... things that get their heads broken off, and it's been a few, an angel my mom had on the stone where our son is, head broken off by the huge riding mower...... ( was not even near where it ought to have hit it. ) 

    and the little metal screw in loop, even broke off.

   dang.

  I wood glued the head on. CANNOT get that blasted loop thing in.

   makes me loopy.  want no more broken things.  not when I feel so stretched out thin.  just no energy for more whatever.

    burned out and exhausted. No relief in sight.  balanced, somewhat, but what a stretch still ahead. And have added therapies now, that I actually do on him.

    good NIGHT

  • 10:33 PM
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