two birds..in a bush?? or with one stone! ( forbid the thought )....today I felted thrift store wool sweaters! my sis in law who taught home ec, or FACS as they nowadays call it, when asked last week, thought you ought to leave them intact for the hot water washing. 

I remembered to start my Christmas gift project today at last, after bringing hubby to his 6 A.M. purity group, picking him up at 7:30 a.m......... and so tossed four pretty wool sweaters into the hot water wash.  THEN looked online in google to see, was I remembering things??

 Nope.

 FIRST you cut them apart, taking off buttons, tags, slicing along the seams, or removing bulky seams altogether. HEE HEE.  So, I was on my knees on the basement floor, with my sewing shears, doing what SEEMED to be surgery on WET SHEEP!!  

  loverly!!   got it done, and now have a bag of pretty wool lint for pretty spring bird's nests!!!

 AND some pretty nice pieces of felted wool, for projects my mind says I can create, I have a brain and two hands, so why can't I??  using what God gave me  

 is the fact that I find myself getting irritated.  like dumb little stuff. today it gets me. He broke something nice that I delighted in, that decorated this home that is not yet really feeling so very "home" to me.  He says he'll fix it, but experience says it will not even get attended to when he has two arms. makes me sad. it was such a fun idea, over the lower basement stairs area.... where you have to duck.  I had this welcome sign, a super nicely painted duck... with a rectangular "welcome" sign hanging below it. So, I hung it there, but on the back of the welcome, I painted the word "duck"....... get it?? Because you need to.  he knocked it off going down the stairs backwards?? or something while he's on narcotics for pain, and totally broke it's head off. That alone made me cry. Head injury death....... things that get their heads broken off, and it's been a few, an angel my mom had on the stone where our son is, head broken off by the huge riding mower...... ( was not even near where it ought to have hit it. ) 

  and the little metal screw in loop, even broke off.

 dang.

I wood glued the head on. CANNOT get that blasted loop thing in.

 makes me loopy.  want no more broken things.  not when I feel so stretched out thin.  just no energy for more whatever.

  burned out and exhausted. No relief in sight.  balanced, somewhat, but what a stretch still ahead. And have added therapies now, that I actually do on him.

  good NIGHT

 Don't look for me here, cuz I'll be there.  Getting in the Blazer and heading up shore....our ladies small group is working through an EXCELLENT study I recommend, by Jennifer Rothschild called  " Me, Myself, and Lies"......          The truth in us leads to life, and more balance, more peace, more of God and less of me.  Lovin' it.  gonna take it to the quiet place, and dwell in it fully.

  Caregiver's fatigue has set in.  I need to take some care of me, here too.  Doing all the household, dog, yard and driving, plus homemaking, wifely things....and the Physical therapy helping........such a load.   We sat down last night to list the upcoming events and get a handle on them. ( hubby can't drive till DECEMBER. )

  Nov 7th- hostessing a bridal shower for our dau in law to be......Nov 13-14 drive to Cities for hubby's season ticket events, and our son's Birthday!.....Nov. 20th a dinner and play with his dept at work.  Dec. 5th, holiday party for work. Dec 10th same, for his emplyer. Dec 11, daughter's birthday. OH nuts!! I forgot Thanksgiving........SEE!!!  Dec. 18th our son graduates college HALLELUIA THANK YOU LORD FOR PROVIDING AND SEEING HIM THROUGH!!!  Travel 2 hrs for that, then  Dec. 19th travel another 2+ hrs to have holiday time with hubby's family at parent's holiday retirement assisted living bldg. in the social room. and drive home that same day.  Christ mas.  January 22.....we host the grooms dinner in the Cities. January 23rd, our son's wedding.  powerful events, powerful emotions that go with them. Missing.  aching for the son in heaven's presence especially at the wedding. And the college graduation.  The others, we are used to the accompanying ache, and reach out to help others to soften the emotions.  That helps much.

  the truth is, it's overwhelming with the added being myself, and trying to encourage daughter and son, in their lives, and the others i love and am called to show care and mercy toward. What I want to do, is do no extended family gift purchasing, we have to pay off all of this surgery and etc with the therapy!! And I am stretched beyond my stretching!! how to take care of myself, if all these have to's stay have to's.  i want to finish the projects like a knitted cap, a quilt, a memory albumn, and give those to my children, as their gifts. When?? to do them?? when the caregiving makes me so tired I am fighting to stay awake till nine pm? hmmmmm